So it's that time again...

Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Sure, I've been listening to Christmas music since september, have my apartment all decked out with decorations, have all my shopping done, been to a number of different Christmasy events, and have family coming tomorrow, but it's still unbelieveable that tomorrow will be December 24th. Where has the time gone? And the magic...? Is it because I'm working throughout the holidays that things feel different? The fact that I'm no longer in university, and thus have no well-defined Christmas break? And, for the first time, will not make it to Cold Lake at some point in the season? Is it just growing up? Or has my heart just become hardened to the true wonder and beauty of the Christmas story? Hmmm...perhaps all of the above.
Rae and I stopped by Walmart on our way back into town tonight, because we thought of one last gift we needed to get. Funny how at 10 pm the parking lot was still jammed pack with vehicles. The store was basically a gong-show, with many of the shelves bare, and people scurrying about in attempts to get everything they need for the upcoming holiday. Rae and I calmly walked around the store and got what we needed, not really in a rush or anything. And as we were at the checkout I was observing people, and every single person in that store appeared to be totally stressed out...certainly not full of Christmas cheer.
And I felt sad. Christmas has lost its meaning in so many ways here. Sure, we hear the carols on the radio, but does anyone actually listen to the lyrics? How could you NOT know that this season is about the birth of Christ, it being played over and over again in the songs. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way...many people despise christmas for the pure fact that it has become something it was never meant to be.
I can't say I'm exempt from focusing on meaning other than the truth at Christmas. Although I can honestly say that I'm at the point where I get more from giving than receiving gifts, I still get chills when I watch christmasy movies, or hear some of my favorite carols being played, or go watch a choir sing, or even just stare at my christmas tree (which I just found out is illegal, by the way). And the baking of goodies...what a time!! These things are not necessarily bad, but again, don't really have much to do with Christ's birth.
I remember in years past, going to the Christmas Eve service, and hearing for the 100th time the story of Christ's coming to this world. And it would never cease to give me tingles, and my eyes well up with tears, imagining God coming to earth as a tiny baby, dependent on his parents for survival, who existed solely for setting an example of how to live, and died so that we may live that life. How does that story get old? How have we become so hardened? How can we fix this?
So I'm going to bed tonight, and picking up my bible to read the story over, and will pray that God will allow me to feel full of the joy, peace, hope, and love that this season is all about.

Late night christmas shopping

My alarm went off at 2:30 AM. Slightly confused, and very groggy I turned it off and lay there...I had been having a dream that I can't remember, but I think it involved driving around in a school bus at one point. Then I remembered WHY I had set my alarm for 2:30 AM: to do something that I have never done before- go shopping! Sure I've been in convenience stores like 7-11 at that time of night (like after a night out), or at Denny's (all-night studying), but this was different. WALMART in south edmonton common was open 24/7 up until Christmas. This place at any sane hour of the day is nuts! So busy that I feel my blood pressure start to rise and my patience dwindle...kids everywhere, shopping carts blocking my way, endless line-ups at the cash register. So the thought of being able to avoid all that seemed glorious. So I talked my sister into going, as well as my best friend who was going to meet us there (she didn't think we were actually serious in going, but took the chance...woulda been kinda funny if we HAD stood her up though!). I was surprised how many people there actually were there. And the answer I had been asking since I found out about the new holiday hours was answered: there really IS an all-night WALMART greeter. It was amazing! I was able to cruise down aisles without almost running someone over. I only had to wait in line for 2 people (one of them being my sister), and I could make observations on everyone else who was there at 3am, and ponder what their reasoning for going was. Andrea suggested going around interviewing people and asking, but there were too many security guards around, and I have a feeling we would have gotten reprimanded. Anyhow, so its now 4:43 AM and I'm wide awake. Good thing I get the next 3 days off to recover!!
Peace

House Art

a dying breed

Yesterday I got together with some girlfriends and we did something that I believe (and have been told) is something very rare these days. Now, it's something I don't understand, I just kinda assumed all girls did this kind of stuff, or atleast most of the girls I know!! Could we be part of a dying breed?

We baked until 11pm last night. There were four of us, and between all of us, we made (atleast) 6 dozen beautifully decorated (deliciously tasting) christmas shaped sugar cookies, about 4 dozen ginger cookies, 3 dozen butter tarts, and atleast 4 dozen chocolate cream-cheese filled cupcakes (oozing with chocolatey gooey goodness!). So now I'm glad to say that the majority of our christmas baking is done, it's all in the freezer waiting to be brought out for the holidays (that is, if my sister and I don't eat it all first!). It was so nuts, there was food everywhere, flour everywhere, I sat in some sort of chocolate stuff that had dripped on a chair and my butt was sticky, we had the tv on channel 18 ( the one with the christmas carols playing and the fireplace crackling). And we laughed and laughed over the absurdest things! And we nibbled so much on the things we were making that I swear my teeth had a inch of sugar on them by the time we left! Long live the dying breed of the bake-tastic 20-somethings!

Should I Join a Convent?

Alright, so I've considered a lot of things in my life, especially after my horrific date last week. Should I just join a convent and forget about men altogether? I found an article on how to become a nun. It goes through all the steps, and after each step I will comment on how well I think I could do on reaching that step. Then you can all vote in my comments section on whether I should or should not take the step.

How to Become a Catholic Nun

The job description calls for chastity, poverty and obedience, and apparently that's not everyone's cup of tea. In the past 30 years, the number of Catholic nuns in the United States has fallen by about 100,000. But if you're seeking spiritual commitment and the opportunity to provide service to the community, you might be one to boost the numbers.

Instructions

STEP 1: Be Catholic or convert to Catholicism. Talk to your priest about the steps involved.

Hmmm...does that mean I have to pray to Mary?

STEP 2: Do not get married--or divorced. Married women can't become nuns, and the Church frowns on divorce. You may apply if you're a widow, though.

well, I'm not divorced, and the whole point is to forget about men, so I think I got this one.

STEP 3: Get a college degree. Many religious communities like applicants to have at least a bachelor's degree before they take their vows.

Would they accept a degree in Linguistics?

STEP 4: Find an order, or a religious community, that suits your beliefs and personality. For instance, do you want to be out in the community or do you prefer a cloistered life? (Technically, if you're out in the world you're a sister, and if you're cloistered you're a nun.) A priest or nun at your church usually can point you in the right direction, or check out ReligiousMinistries.com.

Ummm...what??Cloistered???????

STEP 5: Look for an order whose work interests you. You'll find everything from beekeeping and winemaking to teaching and family counseling. Benedictine sisters, for instance, work in education and service ministries, whereas Cistercian nuns are devoted to prayer and contemplation. You don't need to be quiet and passive to be a nun--some are antiwar protesters and others lead the fight against AIDS in Third World countries.

Winemaking? Dang, I'm there!!! Can a nun drink the wine they make? This could be fun...

STEP 6: Contact the vocation director at the community you choose. Spend some time there and ask plenty of questions.

Again, that's assuming I've actually figured out step #4

STEP 7: Move in for a year or two while you're still studying or working outside if that's an option. This period of residency will give you a good feel for the everyday life of the order you're considering.

Do I still get to wear the nun habit at this step? Do I get to do what the nuns do, or just follow around like a shadow?

STEP 8: Go through the novitiate, or training period, which may last another year or two. You'll spend your time studying, praying and deciding whether you really want to become a nun.

Sounds delightfully monk-ish. Is there any sort of initiation ritual, like they do in sororities?

STEP 9: Take temporary vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience. Depending on the community, these vows may last from one to nine years.

I'm confused about this part, so I sign a contract to become a nun for 1-9 years, taking these vows? Or am I a nun for life, but after 1-9 years I can have all the money, sex, and rebellious acts that I want???

STEP 10: Take your final vows. If you made good on your temporary vows, you're ready for the religious life.

I don't shy away from committment once I've made up my mind

Overall Tips & Warnings

Many nuns don't receive compensation. Nuns who are doctors or social workers, for instance, are paid wages, which support the work of their religious community.
Christianity isn't the only religion with nuns. Many Buddhist women take lifelong vows of simplicity and service.

Tips and warnings noted.

Ok, so that's that. Forum on whether Janet should become a nun open for discussion.

A narcissist's delusions of grandeur

Last night I went out with a guy from Christian Cafe (a dating site). I've been out with a few different guys from there, and all of them have been pretty fun and normal (much to my surprise, due to the whole stigma on online dating). Last night, on the other hand, was an exception. Ohhh man. So this guy, let's call him Mike (not his real name). He's in town from Calgary on a business trip, and we had talked for awhile, so I agreed to meet him downtown for a drink. Now, it became quickly apparent that this was no normal date. Like, not in a scary way, but he evidently had a severe case of narcissistic personality disorder (or in other words, as rae ann would say, the Josh K. disease, haha). The whole time he talked about himself and how he was this doctor (not like a medical kind, but apparently had a doctorate in marketing or something and worked for a company that promoted biomedical devices for clinical research). Anyhoo, so he kept referring to himself as "Dr. Brown" (again, not his real name, but I'm just protecting anonymity), flaunting the fact that he had the label of doctor infront of his name and not just the regular "mr." like everyone else. He kept talking about how all the women like him, and how much money he makes, and to top it all off, how he got offered a contract with the CFL this year but he turned it down because he plays for an AFL league in the states, apparently for the LA Avengers. Now, how you could have a fulltime job in Calgary and play football in LA, I don't understand. He told me this story on a game he played recently against philadelphia's team, who is owned by Jon Bon Jovi. And when Mike scored on an interception, Bon Jovi was heckling at him from the front row. And you can tell that this man is very proud of this story, which I didn't believe for a second. He then told me of parties he went to in Tahiti and how awkward it was when he ran into his ex girlfriend from New York who was a professional bikini model/ surfing competitor. Oh man, the tales get more exciting as the night goes on. And I'm sitting there, thinking to myself, what the heck am I doing here? My arms are cross, I'm visibly not impressed with all of his talk about being a rich football playing ladies man doctor. Not to mention he keeps hitting on me, then comments on how I don't seem to be impressed with him, which he doesn't understand because he thinks he's a great catch, and I think to myself, about how a girl would catch nothing but trouble with him. I kept thinking about those women who marry these guys with this "secret life" and then they get pregnant, then the men murder them. Could he be crazy like that? To top it off, when I got home, I checked the roster of the LA Avengers, and, unsurprisingly, his name is nowhere to be found. I laughed. It was the bizarrest night I have ever had in my life. And he's probably still trying to figure out why I didn't throw myself at him like "all the other girls do." Hmmm...if he's so smart with his "doctorate" he should be able to figure that one out.

Anything (Glo preview)

Love lost- true love gained
So tell me again why my heart feels so pained?
Burdened with a crime I did not commit
I've mountains to climb before I reach the moon.
I could use some help, anytime soon
Mend my spirit Lord,
tend to my tattered soul
Lift me up, cast me down
Anything to make me whole

Sanity lost- peave of mind gained
Didn't understand you were there when it rained.
Naked and exposed you did not despise
Now completely enclosed in the armour of your love
Gotta tend to the faith in things from above
mend my spirit, Lord
tend to my tattered soul
Lift me up, cast me down
Anything to make me whole