death by chocolate

So, here I am today finding myself being the best multi-tasker ever. I am in the middle of dishes, baking birthday brownies, cleaning the house, writing resumes, and trying to get myself ready for the day. Add a kid to the mixture, and you would swear that I was a sweet little housewife. But I'm not...I'm just a cynical underemployed roommate who has more time on her hands than she knows what to do with.

These brownies, by the way, are the richest, chocolatiest things I have ever consumed in my entire life. I'm not bragging of my culinary skills (anyone can follow a recipe) but rather of the clever lady who thought up this wonderful recipe. They're seriously a cross between chocolate fudge and chocolate brownies. Wow...I can't wait till they're done. I can't burn em, cause I got the little egg time timing away, so unless I have a sudden bout of auditory impairment, I think I'll be ok.

Thinking about these brownies got me to thinking about the store Death By Chocolate, which then got me thinking, has anyone ever died because of chocolate? So the wheels in my brain started turning to think of the many possible ways that someone may have died because of chocolate. Here are some viable options:

(the egg timer just went off, but they were still batter in the middle)

1) Two pregnant ladies, both with intense cravings for chocolate find themselves fighting over the last piece of McCain's Deep and Delicious Cake at a dinner party. After much yelling, one of the husbands tells them to stop squabbling and share the piece of cake. One pregnant lady grabs the knife and waves it dramatically in the air, and stabs...at the cake. They share the cake, but unfortunately for one lady a large chunk of chocolate that never melted during the cooking of the cake was found in her piece of cake, and being the chocolate glutton that she was, she ate the entire piece of chocolate cake in one bite and started choking on the giant chocolate chip. No one had their First Aid course, so no one could perform the Heimlich manouver, and thus she suffocated (which caused her body to start delivering the baby, which, by the way, was not harmed in the event)

(egg time rings again, the brownies look glorious)

2) I know the first option sounded really unbelievable, but this one has happened, I am certain. Severe allergies to chocolate. I know you're thinking, what about nut allergies, that happens lots with chocolate, but then, it wouldn't be death by chocolate would it? It would be death by hazlenut, etc. So, there must be someone out there who is deathly allergic to Cocoa. Maybe this individual was caught cheating on their spouse, who then went crazy and got revenge by lacing the mashed potatoes with cocoa powder.

3) The little kid in Charlie and the Chocolate factory who falls into the chocolate river doesn't actually get saved. He drowns.

4) Type 2 diabetes from consuming too much chocolate, later causing death...?

5)hmmm...my imagination has run out. all the other options i can think of somehow indirectly involve chocolate, whereas death was not a direct result of chocolate...wait, i got one more

6) Scientists create a giant chocolate beast (kinda like the stay-puffed marshmallow man from ghost busters) and it goes on a rampage through New York city, or Tokyo, or wherever most of the other ficticious beasts rampage. Thus, millions are killed by being crushed by the giant chocolate man.

Anyhow, I'd best be going and make some icing for my brownies. If I don't blog again, it can be certain that I've somehow experienced death by chocolate.